I went down on her for at least a half hour, She loved it, so I thought she'd recip. She said "I only do that if I know I'm getting something out of it."
SHUT IT DOWN.
dude i just made a burrito by wrapping 2 packs of scooby snacks with a fruit roll up. im so high
So for Valentine's Day...I finally swallowed. I feel like I earned that steak.
I promise you I could read that dogs mind, he was arguing with the other dog saying he knows how fucked up I am
searching my car for your cum before I have to give my grandma a ride to the airport. Thanks for this
Sometimes one must go to great lengths and make great sacrifices to get drunk. I willingly accept the challenge.
Somehow "stranger danger" turned into making out with a 25 year old on burbon street.
Slowly realizing that my only incentive to bathe is shower beer
My nose was gushing blood and he just kept screaming "she took it like a champ" to everyone there. Plus side though, bartender felt bad for me and gave me a free drink.
This is seriously fucking awkward. My favorite sex scene just started and my dad's still here. He offered me Cheetos.
The drag queen you used to date and the girl you brought over last night are discussing your sex noises in my living room. I'm changing my locks.
Your english degree would kill itself if it could read that text.
maybe a couloe typos.. noooooooooo big deal
My boss and I ended up at the same strip club. We both got lap dances while talking about work.
I'm going to tell you something and I want no judgement because it's america day and I'm wearing an American flag bathing suit but...I woke up in a yard.
He wanted me to do the rubix cube. He thought it was hot.
Randomize
