i mean i'm ok with bufu but if i'm gonna do it it needs to be a mutual agreement, and there are steps that need to be taken. you don't just go OOPS we're doing it now
I hate when you've made an ugly girl's day by having sex with her, and then she gets greedy and wants to cuddle after you cum.
The guy I was getting with last night took off his purity ring mid-sex and threw it across the room.
I think thanksgiving was created so we could all be thankful that we're still alive after the night before.
Do you ever just think "I could really go for a good 30 minute blowjob". I do. Everytime jill smiles.
no one could get around him on the stairs cause he surrounded himself with all the empties he could find, he said he was building a fort. then he passed out on them.
Stand up sex. Extremely, extremely difficult. I now know how pointe dancers feel.
But you can still look for dick after you find Jesus.
Apparently I stole windex from the cab driver. Klepto Tom strikes again.
You know you're baked when you feel your throat closing up from an allergic reaction to the pecans in the cookie you're eating but you keep eating the damn cookie.
Last night you found an onion ring in your fries and then you started singing "A Moment like this"
Also he didn't buy condoms after we ran out last week. Luckily I had one, but I told him he should be more optimistic about getting laid
He asked if I was a pirate because my "arrrrrrrrse" was worth burying. 10/10 for effort, 20/10 for serial killer vibes.
I’m vetoing meatball margaritas right out the gate. We can’t have people throwing up again!
Of course he did! You’ve seen my tits, you know he didn’t stand a chance!
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