Rescue me. My white trash great uncle just pulled out his belly at the restaurant to show us how big this woman's tit was
just walked by a lingerie store, the sign out front, "Specials for Father's Day", in no way is that just not wrong.
From the prices on this menu it looks like I have no choice. I have to blow him.
the only good thing about him lasting five minutes was that nobody thinks i had sex with him or that im a slut because we were only in the bathroom for five minutes
I guess I just got drunk and ordered a mini fridge off the internet. At least now I know the 200$ that was missing from my checking account wasn't spent on lap dances only.
Guy next to me is looking up how to press his own ecstasy pills. I'm going to befriend him and see where this goes
not the best booty call
did she squirt?
only if tears count
For real, I've been ditched by my boyfriend twice today alone. I fucking shaved for this guy.
Somewhere out there, Gloria Steinem just started to cry.
Here's what I don't understand. How does anyone watch you eat mayo for 12 minutes and then ever fuck you again??
I'm hungry, horney and thirsty. Pick two you want to help out with.(please pick horney)
Okay so it turns out that my bf keeps a log of every time I sleep-fart. It's dated back to 2013.
Last night when I blacked out, I ate Chef Boyardee. I never want to be that drunk ever, ever again.
If he's dating my cousin now, do I have to erase the pictures of his dick off my phone? Ugh, morals.
her idea of a romantic time is a bottle of jager, some Guacamole and chips.
can't go wrong with guac.
I can't take 'get a man' advice from you. You'll stick your penis in a warm banana peel.
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