just do him I won't tell jon
um i'm guessing you meant to send this to tina, thanks for the support in our relationship you whore
Crying babies in a bar. Really?
And she just changed the baby's diaper on the table. It's killing the beer garden.
i don't care who i fucked last night, until im at 43plus im not considering myself slutty
I think I left a blow job at your house. Can I come down and get it?
I gave it to your brother to give to you.
we are currently watching a singalong porn...just thought you should know
I mean, I know going to rehab probably didn't make her a lesbian, but I can always hope
Thanks for bailing me out last night guys. it's bullshit that everbeering people at bars is illegal. bitches have no sense of adventure anymore
They need 20 oz Capri suns with liquor. Douches need to grow up with their clients
I'm running on jager fumes right now. It's like I put diesel in a prius and said fuck it.
You know.... I ordered the nipple clamps when I was drunk. But on further consideration, THANKS DRUNK ME I LIKE WHATS HAPPENING
This is what happens when wu tang raised you
Thanks for the Beyonce article. In other news, I just passed a man with the state of Florida tattooed on his face.
One minute we were ordering sandwhiches. The next hes peeing in a trash can yelling at kids about how tv made him this way
So, anyways, aside from wanting to seduce my roommate for booze, how's everything been
How is it that I know 4 different bartenders who won't charge me for drinks, but I can't get laid?
Randomize
