worst experience of my life. her nipples were sick. kinda like a venn diagram
'fingered' and 'feelings' NEVER belong in the same sentence.
You guys seriously fuck to bieber? That's embarrassing...
I kinda wish he had even a slight idea of the sex I'm planning for his departure. I'm literally studying for it.
I feel bad for the next person that's gonna live in my room. There's so much semen on the carpet
The guys had to come into the bar bathroom and pep talk us all off the floor
I'll never forget how blunt of a wingman you were. "Excuse me, my friend wants to makeout with someone"
no dude I'm not doing anything bad to her...remember she's always the DD she has blackmail material on literally all of us
You drink it until you puke in a vent one time and it's ruined forever.
I think I hit my head on every surface in that apartment last night
Sorry I disappeared. Do you hate me?
Not at all, did you not hear me clapping outside your car on our way out?
I peed my pants walking home last night... I just kept walking.
If u ever apologize to me for "too-rough" sex again I will suspend ur all-access pass to my vagina indefinitely
Girl you're stalking so hard you're gonna know both their social security numbers soon
What?? I could've slept with an ordained minister!
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