xbox live and facebook are tricking me into believing I actually have an active social life
as evidence of my kitchen this morning my night involved alot of mustard and condoms
We all need desperate help. Maybe we should just become a group of people who walk around town and shit in peoples air vents
I'm down.
Iiiiiii almost fall ib the lake
Sorry about all the noise last night. We were trying to break bottles by kicking soccer balls at them. If it's any consolation, there's shattered glass and blood all over my kitchen.
We're doing a case race on Saturday.
I'm in. I'm currently drinking a beer in the bathtub so I guess I can consider this "practice" and not just "alcoholism"
I incognito puked under the VIP table. Did Jersey proud.
I couldn't be mad. She was crying because she fell bare ass into the rose bush trying to pee. So I held her up mid-stream and she peed on my feet. No big
you picked up the vacuum cleaner at one point and said you we gonna beat the shit out of me with it. that was kinda funny
I don't know if it has occurred to you yet, but you are dating a nymphomaniac, and your work schedule is an interference of my needs being fulfilled. Get home now.
My Saturday dick is so much more impressive than my Tuesday dick.
Dave, I love you but you're barking up the wrong lesbian. You sir are the competition. You don't threesome with competition.
He said i got a new job lets blow this money he bought 4 bottles at the club he is now crying after seeing the reciept
We lost our room key and found it in his pocket with 3 pieces of fish.
ETA 20 minutes and if you greet me at the door with a gin & tonic I’ll give you head.
Randomize
