every time you feel disappointed with the red wings take a shot
you kept trying to make scrambled eggs with 3 hardboiled ones.
Dude...I'm drunk from Wednesday stilll.
Def walking back to my apt with a blender, an empty vodka bottle, and a half eAtn drumstick cone.
well.. I tried flushing my sandals down the toilet
I found you laying in the kitchen with a bottle of vodka and a slice of bologna on your face. You said you were having a spa day.
He's cheating on her.
Are you sure it wasn't her?
I have my glasses on, and as long as she didn't change her face in the past two months; its her.
First booty call in Europe.. In Barcelona. With a German. In broad daylight.... Is that how they do it here?
Do you know of any good hiding spots in the Atlanta area?
Relaxed was like phase 1 of this phase 7 high
Holy shit I'm 26! That took an embarrassingly long time to figure it out, I need to keep buyin weed from this kid
Yeah ok. We can maid of honor each other since you don't like my boobs enough to lesbian marry me
I thought you were dead but then you asked me if your tits looked good. They did.
How did they ever let a trainwreck like myself run a bar?!
I fuckin love you!
I would reciprocate the feeling if i knew who this was.
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