At some point I made a semi-conscious decision that i was okay with sleeping in my own vomit.
trying to figure out who visited the hillshire farms website enough for it to be in my top sites.
Ive been tazing him too get him immuned. He will be unstopable.
she said she was gay. i said prove it. she said "ok i wont fuck you"
Weekdays seemed more exciting when I had a drinking problem. Like I had something to look forward to at night.
Ok. I am hammered I will admit it but my legacy needs to live and your the only woman that could spawn satan. We need to talk.
She just tricked me into telling her the balance of my 401k... She's like a gold digging jedi mind trick ninja
We have a pile of chopped wood here that suggests we may have chopped down a tree of some sort.
My vagina loves me do-dah do-dah my vagina loves me do-dah do-dah
I picture you throwing your vagina around in the same fashion that they pass out candy at a parade.
You went into the shower with my roommate and cursed him out asking why he was there
Basically all I do anymore is get stoned with my cats, and then we share goldfish.
AND ONCE AGAIN, MY VAGINA HAS STRUCK AGAIN. HER PLANS TO TAKE OVER MARYLAND ARE WELL ON THEIR WAY AS SHE CONTINUES TO ENGULF EVERY QUEER IN A 10 MILE RADIUS
every day is bullshit and fuck everyone. That's my motto for the week
Hey babe! Random question. Do you by chance have the pic of my nipples covered with ninja turtles band aids? Thanks.
there's crying, and people are upset, and there's a love triangle, and a broken heart, and so much estrogen
Randomize
