I want your puppy
I meant pussy
I would rather you take my puppy
so was this before or after i puked down the ice luge?
Some guy just watched me feed 30 dimes and 3 quarters for bread and cheese at the self checkout at walmart. I no longer comprehend shame...
You yelled "bananas are an excellent source of pottasium!"4 times in the middle of class. how do you not remember?
I don't even know what potassium is.
I have come to the conclusion that if you don't fulfill your life ambitions you should go into porn
Her boobs are too amazing to be looking at my dick. I'm even ashamed.
He sang nursery rhymes to my vagina to get me to have sex with him..
I am trapped in a bar with french tattooed drug dealers who also blow glass art. Just in case this is bad, know what happened.
He was like a foghorn with a huge penis.
Just made macaroni burritos. Fukkin awesome. We'll have to try this when I'm sober.,!
You broke the end off a wine bottle, ran outside and screamed "FOR NARNIA!!"
Looked for my lighter in the console and found more tampons. Seriously. You're like a squirrel prepping for a hard winter. A menstruating squirrel.
You can achieve whatever you wish in your imagination with some help from drugs
They filled a kiddie pool with lube and glitter.
I don't think you could pull off being mean.
How do you think I'm still single?
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