Everytime we come here you have an ex here.
She went from zero to smokin in five shots
I swallowed and made him pancakes in the morning. I feel almost as desperate as Jennifer Aniston at this point.
curled up in a ball on my bed listening to my "cuddle with a boy" playlist. prettty high.
Found a fruit roll up in my pocket this morning. This means my daughter has a peach blunt wrap in her lunchbox.
I definitely think in addition to buying paint ball guns this summer we should invest in a breathalyzer. That way every drunk night turns into a competition, who can blow over the legal limit more. The loser gets shot while hungover. Shit goes hand in hand if you ask me.
Go forth my little lesbian, get your gayme on
YOU CHEATED ON ME WITH THE WOMAN THAT IS STAYING AT YOUR HOUSE. FORGIVE ME IF IM NOT THINKING YOUR A DEDICATED BOYFRIEND.
Jesus Christ that hit just spoke to so many levels of my soul. It's caressing them softly
Not only does DQ have s'mores shakes, sonic has a hot dog in a pretzel bun, and Wendy's has a burger in a pretzel bun. Important things are happening.
Ask him to get me chedder bratwurst instead of the molly
Unless if you guys already left. Then I want the molly
OMG MY DAD TOLD ME HE MIGHT DO TINDER
I'm a hopeless romantic with the sex drive of a married politician. IM DOOMED.
She's not allowed to do acid anymore... she started crying because she thought she was an eagle.
Plus he probably didn't want to be at home, alone... Jacking off on the big screen without you there to lend a helping hand. I mean, let's be honest. It's not fun if it's not a little weird.
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