this is amy. the small petlike person from the womens bathroom at the reef.
He looks like Spencer from the game Dreamphone
the guy next to me needed a pen, so I let him take one from my book bag. my panties are now being passed around the class...thank you for telling me you hid them in my bookbag.
his genitalia just looks like a thumbs up. a really really small thumbs up.
im gonna call it quits for tonight... I am so drunk I dont even have the motor skills to masturbate
SHE JUST SHOVED MY HAND DOWN HER PANTS AT THE BAR
Don't text me with that hand
She keeps feeding me drugs. Its like I'm her baby bird or something
when the repo soundtrack came on in the middle of us having sex i realized it was about time that i clear out my itunes library
Holy shit, add "successfully got stoned secretly at a party where a cop was" to my list of accomplishments.
The best thing about this time of year is that all I have to do is add a random mardi gras decoration to my cart full of alcohol and boom, no more judging
I think I pulled a boob muscle during phone sex
I told my parents how nice the girl at the frogurt store was. I neglected to mention that I nearly lost my virginity to her via foursome.
Bring beers. The password is "I brought beers" but you can't come in if you're a liar
This is why we can never be just regular friends. The shit we do is not regular
Just landed in Atlanta. Still drunk. I can't feel my face
Randomize
