laying in bed listening to christian music, jealous of the hope they have for their life. also need to beat off, can i think about you?
I hate that the only Italian aspect of me is I get red and sweaty when I drink
okay I may or may not have wrapped my body pillow up in your t-shirt and sprayed it with your axe and am now spooning with it.
again? I'm starting to get a little creeped out now.
I woke up at 6 on his trampoline wearing only a parka.
the fact that i fell through a skylight is the least humiliating part of the night
Please tell me this is my four loko that I just woke up in....
I'm on a no morals kick. That'll be 3 girls in 24 hours....ending 2011 with a bang
He's used the term "balls deep" 3 times in the first hour. Thanks a lot, Plenty of Fish.
He's telling everyone that the only reason he's at this party is to hook up with me. SOS HELP.
If my mom walks in on me masturbating one more time I'm moving out
You'd think the first few times would have been enough
Might I also add after my boss threw up in the garbage can and yelled puking rally, he dougied, then told me I wasn't about that life.
How dare you question the sanctity of Chocolate-and-Porn day
What's the address and code again...does anyone need anything and why is my viking helmet on the bed?
I AM NOT LOSING TO SOME FICTIONAL CROSSDRESSER
Nothing says "Happy New Year" like having to shit into a plastic bag.
Randomize
