sometimes i really wish you were a nugget.
I took chris brown's side in the conversation ... cut to me not getting laid tonight
Babe, the 4 years we've been together have been amazing. Will you marry me?
are you seriously doing this over text message
hahaha no, but i am dumping you.
I think it is impossible 2 take a person seriously when their last name is Pancake
this is not the first time I've had hot dogs and 151 for thanksgiving.
So update from last night: I made friends with a coke dealer, I tore the card scanner off the wall of my dorm, and I passed out on our bathroom counter with my head in the sink.
When a man can't even pay attention to you when you're telling him about how big his penis is, there's something wrong
I think it's awesome that you're getting shower sex advice from a Mormon.
My makeup looks extraordinary for nine tequila shots, running four blocks, falling asleep with my face in the toilet, and doing the walk of shame across campus in the rain. And to think I'm single.
He called himself Jesus all night but I'm not sure if that's his real name or not
How's my sex life is me mastubating next to her dog. that's how it's going.
What's worse having drunken sex with hot married man or breaking the diet one week in?
I've turned into a small time drug dealer, now who's the real MVP.
Saw the Peanut butter guy at checkout he had at least 30 containers of it and like 6 different kinds...
I am high. And my mom surpised me today. Now i am high and with my mom....bad idea
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