we were just talking about designated drivers and i suggested we each hire a mexican day laborer to give us piggy back rides... i have the best ideas eveeer
What kind of soap washes out shame, bad decisions, and whiskey?
Irish Spring?
"Worlds Wildest Videos" should be called "Crazy White People"
in retrospect, i probably shouldn't have referred to his dick as "travel size"
yeah so our basement was flooded 4 feet. we just smoke and drank and then went swimming. gotta make the best out of it
I just filled out my 2010 Census drunkenly. I'm single handedly throwing it off.
There is tupperware vodka. thats right tupperwares full of vodka. best leftovers ever
I made out with all three roommates...I didnt realize that was actually an awkward situation.
Couldn't find any balloons, so we're doing whippets out of condoms. Being a ho has its benefits.
When we picked him up this morning the cop said that if they actually arrested every drunk American who pissed on cathedral doors, Spain wouldn't have any room for real prisoners.
yea talk to her if you feel up to it. Just remember who you are
Oh shit sorry I just gave lion king advice sorry not mufasa
I'LL COME GET YOU. GOTTA FIND A SUIT THAT COVERS TIT BRUISES FIRST.
Last night I dreamt that I sold my car and used the money to have wheels surgically implanted in my feet and legs so I became a human heely and I just rolled everywhere
How's moving going?
Uh, we're on the way to the store to buy more booze
This whole thing is fucking bullshit. I should be wasting all my hard-earned money at Planet Con this weekend but NOOOOOOOOO. Now I'll never get Roy Thomas to sign my comic
Randomize
