Wow, you were right... Weed does start conversations
ive come to realize my hair is a lot like my vagina. i put a bunch of shit in it with no result
so went to the condom shack today. bought a condom that dresses up your dick in a suit...tomorrow im fucking in style
Is it rude if I ask the current tenets of our future apartment if I can come and blackout for a night? I want stupendously drunk me to get a feel for the place so he's comfortable when we move in.
If you hook up with your cousin you will permanently be my favorite person ever.
I didn't want to have to tell you this, violating our brother/sister code not to discuss these things but: for the love of christ stop inviting that 21 year old idiot I slept with for six months to EVERY PARTY WE THROW.
This is what we get for YOLOing our way to obesity
He got hit with a horseshoe, set on fire, fell out of a tree, and puked all over the side of his car, all before midnight. Everclear.
Shirley Temple died. We owe it to her to get dirty shirley wasted.
Your vagina felt like having sex with thanksgiving mashed potatoes. The best kind of mashed potatoes
I feel a little uneasy about having my grandma sleep in my bed that I've banged chicks in not too long ago... Fuckin blizzards
Pretty sure I just got the ok to have a one night stand in Maui...from mom. I'd say that's a win in my book.
We found him sitting in the back of the club crying into a strippers lap. She told us he missed his pet frog and to come back later.
the fact that you beer bonged rum made me so proud, the fact that you threw up an entire footlong tuna melt after... not so much babe
i had to call him over, it was my last chance at getting some tonight
HE HAS A RESTRAINING ORDER AGAINST U!!!
it expires tomorrow
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