Go to google and type XXX
.......Is that how you look for porn?
You screamed, "I am going to fuck this cheeseburger". They all started laughing until you actually started having sex with the cheeseburger.
i feel like god sat there all night pointing and laughing at me
While in Europe, he bought me a pouring tap to put on my liquor so I don't spill. This means 2 things.1) He really loves me. 2) I'm a noticeable alcoholic.
On my list on ridiculous morning after bus rides home, still sopping wet and carrying a giant straw hat is definitely top five
I'm gonna have to flying elbow somebody tonight in memory of Macho Man
he found cum stains on my sheets and all i could blurt out was "better on the sheets than in me"
I got up before the sun today. That makes me sun for the day.
When did you start smoking in order to be high by 4:30?
OPIZZABONMYDICK
Please collect your boy friend. He semi-passed out on the couch and trying to grab bums as people walk by. Anyone's bum, he's not choosy.
Hey, don't think you remember me but we met last night. I'm conducting a survey this morning its only one question: Have you seen Rob since 1am?
You rode your bike four miles to my house. Yelled "I'm so high!" Then crashed into his car. It's a problem.
I hope to God it's not the new neighbors having sex, because what I'm hearing sounds like a mildly defective vuvuzela or a cow giving birth.
Well while you were being a dick I was taping back together a cougars broken heart
I woke up sick this morning, maybe sucking a random dudes finger at a bar last night wasn't that clean of an idea.....
Randomize
