Boner jamz table deep. plus bar deep. wiing waing.
I just didn't expect you to be so naked....
the new term for farting is butt boxing.
He looks like Jesus, if Jesus had let himself go.
i may have used way too many innuedos last night. i scared him off. but really... how could i pass up "stimulus package" and "flacid economy." don't answer that.
I think I just saw the silver monkey from legends of the hidden temple sitting out in someone's trash
GO. BACK. NOW.
I literally sat down and peed with my underwear still on. How does that happen?
Quick question... Why were there condoms frozen into ice cubes?
I'm not sure how exactly, but this funeral has turned into a ridiculous night of drinking games
There is a large, jolly black gentleman in the parking lot of my appartment complex yelling about 5am jelly doughnuts. I want to be where he's at.
You were typing for me while I was hyperventilating into a paper bag on the floor.
If he doesn't get here soon I'm taking off my thong and eating his dinner.
I just projectile vomited into my kitchen sink. Today need to be over already.
I think that maybe Alyssa may of had too much to drink. is it normal for her to straddle random people in quizno's?
What did you spend the night in her closet?
She said she was saving me for breakfast and locked me in there
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