their songs make me feel all the things I wanna feel. Ya dig?
and what kinds of feelings would these be?
Happy, horny, occasionally hungry
hey what are you doing
hooking up with some marlborough girl. shes gorgeous!
i texted you because i like you, and i told my freinds you were my fiance. but sine we're not dating you're not cheating and i'm pathetic
i just peed in a port a potty and wiped with my credit card statement. fuck yeah!
Unfortunately, they didn't pull of their wake and bake plans. Instead, they waked and vomited like a half-retarded giraffe till everyone woke up.
you came in and threw goldfish on our blue carpet and screamed SWIM BITCHES and then made me drink a best friends potion with you
Just hide your weed in your baby brothers shirt. TSA wont check a baby, thats fucked up
Is it penis luge time yet?
Just found out my ex boss was running a whore house in the bar. Time to remove her as a reference?
tequilla shots with my grandparents? christmas visiting just got so much better
Watching the dude who probably knocked me up be all cute with his girlfriend on my couch. I am too nice, and I hate today.
If I'm going to start compromising my butthole it's going to be for much better drugs than a ventolin
Give me a second. I'm doing my best but I'm drunk so for some reason fitting both my boobs in the pic is just incredibly difficult. They aren't THAT big. I'm just being retarded.
How do you politely tell someone to get out of your house in Russian
For a second fuck I think last night went extremely well... our sexual relationship is progressing at a pace that im quite satisfied with.
Will you PLEASE get your mom to stop telling me I'd make a great husband? She knows I'm gay, right?!
I know, but she really likes you. Have you met my brother yet?
Randomize
