My first STD was from a foam party
Di me a solid and hit me with your car.
He toold me that when we were younger I was his boner buddy.
After the tests come back negative, you guys will look back on this evening with fond memories...
as you might have guessed from my lack of texts, the herpes have calmed down.
It's hard to take you serious when you're crying your eyes out wearing an adult sized onesie.
Faces of meth called, they want their look back.
Also what is the name of Americas thing where we had a holy obligation to expand westward? I'm going name my new lighter that.
I told him not to mix beer with his Dr. Pepper...his reply was "i'm a grown ass man i'll do what i want". Judging by the sounds coming out of the bathroom he regrets not listening to me.
When she asked why I felt bad I said that it may have had something to do with the gin and cold pizza I had for breakfast.... And then I reflected on what my life has become.
I just passed a kid trying to leave on a lawn mower
I swear man, you fly across the country to give a boy your virginity and he suddenly thinks you like him
This bar smells like your ball sack. In a weird way I miss you.
Only time and a comprehensive case study of all of your relationships will tell.
The last time I was on vacation the pandemic blew up. Can't wait to see how my vacation fucks up the world this time.
Randomize
