of course. lets lasso hookers.
he said he wanted to butter my pancake. i thought it was sexual, but he went downstairs and made pancakes. i need to stop dating fat guys.
We're doing a case race on Saturday.
I'm in. I'm currently drinking a beer in the bathtub so I guess I can consider this "practice" and not just "alcoholism"
We got jeff a deep fryer for his bday. So far the count is two potatoes and your iPod.
Don't linger or you will get sucked into spending the night. Remember the mission mantra: GET OFF
She told me I made the cut, and to write my name and number on the white board by the door. I was the 7th number down.
You kept going up to guys in plaid and screaming "are you a lumberjack" in their faces
Noo.... Like in the attic of a crack house with nitrous and fat chicks weird....
A gay guy went down on me in the club bathroom and then fixed my makeup for me
its gonna be a great night
"Let's do body shots off the freshmen" is officially the worst thing I've ever said.
I refuse to answer that question on the grounds that it may incriminate me
The lowest point of my life has been reached. I just drank half a jar of pasta sauce.
Crust to egg proportion prescribes to a pedantic form of quiche. It's like saying breakfast pizza isn't pizza at all.
It's best not to have your booty call on social media. So if they post stupid shit, you still want to fuck them.
I feel like I had a successful night. I flashed the guy at the liquor store last night for 2 free tshirts and a giant redbull.
Randomize
