Apparently every Tri-Delt knows what I did and I am blacklisted from ever dating anyone in that house.
Well ya you lied, told her you cared, took her virginity and then broke up with her at Christies Toy Box.
I honestly thought the dildo was a nice parting gift.
When we were fucking, you could hear the beer sloshing around in my stomach
Holy fuck. She looks like Vin Diesel's stuntman
Just wondering why in an apartment full of stoners there is half a waffle in the TRASH CAN. get ur shit together man
So I'm about to go to his house and have "I'm really sorry for cheating on you last night" sex
i really wish i had a remote for my computer. its all the way on my bed while im across the hall puking my brains out to enya. not cool.
is it too early in the day to continue our conversation about penis shapes?
i'm out of college. that means no more sex on a twin bed. ever. i don't care how big his dick was. i'm classy like that.
Its completely acceptable to go naked under my graduation gown right?
Some ppl might frown upon it but theyre prudes
I yelled out look at all those hickeys. And then gave her boyfriend a high five
so it turns out the huge bruises on my knees are from drunk bmxing and not getting railed from behind on the ground
and ill have you know that I only wiped out twice
Is it bad juju to glue mini budda to the bottom of a shot glass
Beer. Pizza. Seething Rage. I will be full of two of these things tonight. You get to decide which two.
I just watched a magician wearing a fedora deep throat a balloon\n
last night you said that you wanted to hold my dick as you slept because it was like having a stuffed animal.
Randomize
