It just feels so wrong throwing away the condoms into her Hello Kitty trashcan
And then i made him answer questions about me before i took off my clothes
ARE YOU ALIVE? usually when i say lets start drinking at inappropriate times you come right over. im worried
Did you leave your blow razor here? I need it for crafts.
New reason to drink: alcohol makes soda taste like goddamn gold.
Just got high and apologized to my vagina for getting chlamydia
I just watched two grown men tickle-fight. Just glorious. No words.
For the first time in my 26 years of life, I'm washing jizz out of my ponytail.... High five yourself later.
My dad is blowing up my phone with pictures from the midget wrestling match.
Maybe snorting K off penises isn't healthy
Oh you know just explaining sexual consent to a drunk 80 year old man. How is this my life?
For a guy who came before his dick was out of his pants, he gave surprisingly good head.
Look, I've got a really big car. We just need to put ourselves in it and put some body parts in other body parts.
I was literally so lonely last night that I stopped watching a video on porn hub and just read the comments
No, I told him I was busy again this weekend. Eventually he’ll learn. Plus, absence makes the cock grow harder
Randomize
