Just saw ur first draft of ur suicide note.
You spelled "worthless" wrong.
he turned the pretty ricky playlist on. its about to go down.
you kept insisting that i was jake gyllenhaal and you were heath ledger.
Its so hard looking at my mom and pretending I'm not dying a slow death of binge drinking
Totalylr drunk. Coveredc in cryola marker. Loving it. Straight men everywhere. Don't be surprises when I'm pregbat romorrowwwww
I think the duck is in my room. You have no idea how much worse a duck makes a hangover
What was she thinking? I'm not in the business of charity fucks anymore.
You don't put off sexcapades. Life lesson #1.
Wors thing about having a cop dad: random drug testing
I just remembered something. Did we really all flash the cab driver to get half off?
What happened to my knees?
You ate shit in front of the homeless people. They applauded.
Lesbians had sex in my bed last night. It's a thing of pride
Remember the golden rule, wine is for baths, and beer is for showers.
Well, after a pitcher of beer, I set my ex on fire. It was a little fire, he's fine. How's your night?
Do you want to get naked and order pizza with me
Randomize
