she'd have to be at LEAST a cup size bigger for me to even consider putting up with her voice
anyone who has a picture of a ferrari with the caption "mAh DreAM caR" is getting denied as my facebook friend.
if this hangover is indicative of how 2011 is gonna be, i want nothing to do with it
and let me tell you something, handcuffs are surprisingly uncomfortable when they arent being used in a sexual manner
Then my perve supervisor asked about your vagina. And I was like nunya, but its glorious
I guess she fell asleep at the strip club and the other one was crying because she had a vagina in her face. Happy 21st!
If I got to choose how I die, it would be in an Olympic sized pool of gin and tonic.
I got asked to "be the filling in a man sandwich." You don't get to pick the club again. EVER.
I could drive to your house and kick you in the nuts right now....and not even stop for a burrito
I swear to the sweet baby jesus I didn't fill your freezer with salsa and my little pony toys, but I didn't stop them either.
How weird would it be to ask your bro to 3d print your dick for me
He told me he was my brother roommate in college after we fucked, but already knew that so I had pretend I didn't know that.. like how I pretended I finished. 2/10
I'll do anything with you, except downhill sports and butt stuff.
I was so high I kept trying to flush the toilet with the light switch
He weighed maybe 130, his dick had to be 30 of it. SO BIIIIG.
Randomize
