haha it's okay then, bc he only killed a canadian, they're not real people
We agreed on being friends w/ benefits. Lets see if that really happens.
Ok, so that was not supposed to go to u, my bad. I feel horrible.
The dentist just called my mother to confirm the appointment that I made on his answering machine at 4:33 am this morning..
On this egg donor form, it asks "In the past 5 years, have you had sex for drugs or money?" It only gives a yes or no option and no place to explain myself. What do I do?
What would you have done with a 40 foot neon parrot anyway?
Admitting I go to nursing school is my subtle way of saying, yes, I know every muscle in your penis and how to effectively use them.
You lured him into the bathroom with a trail of jello shots, then proceeded to barricade the door with duct tape. You really should have thought that one through..
This is God's way of telling me He loves me and wants me to be a cocktease.
Go forth my daughter and give blue balls to all who may gaze upon your tits.
i vomited out of my nose in three different houses so far, i will be back for my boots tomorrow
its so sad we are done celebrating 21st bdays everytime one of us turned 21 everyone else got laid
Ya I don't think I'm going anywhere, a cum towel, beer, and Vicodin was just exchanged in our white elephant present game
Cocaine can totally be concealed as MAC finishing powder. Drug dealer creds just went up 120 percent
She just walked up to him and was like "you should fuck Angela" and it worked! She is the ultimate wingman
also I saw his dick in the morning light and it was glorious. Like staring upon your birthday cake you ordered from heaven and going " can't wait to eat that later"
She asked how comfortable I was with her while we were in the shower. She then proceeded to pee in said shower.
Randomize
