She looks like Sash Grey but sounds like Fran Drescher. Advise.
just remind me when i get fired soon that august is the month i started pregaming work
Someone changed my text signature to "Also, I think I might be gay" last night. Also, I think I might be gay
You told him you loved him!?
I mean if he translated "Zi luve ku" as that then yes.
I still can't believe you had sex with someone who willingly went by Peaches.
just used my sex toy cleaning solution to clean my reading glasses. midterms are cramping my styleeee
They told you that you couldn't fit in the dryer. Man, did they eat their words. You did brake the door though.
I should work for the FBI. Or planned parenthood.
That's quite a broad spectrum. What did you do?
If you don't wanna wax my ass just say so.
Now that it's over, I can finally say it and not feel bad,dude. Her mustache is better than yours.
The body is still out there. I don't think my trainer realized when he asked me not to drink for 24 days, how often I see dead people
his mom fetish really needs to stop. this is literally the 5th time i've come home from work and there's been some random skank and her kids in the living room.
did one of the kids use their poo like a crayon on the wall this time?
Just almost drowned myself in the shower again. I need an adult.
No instead we fucked in the elevator.. it was wrong on so many levels..
How tall was the building? Maybe it was only wrong on some of them
I don't think you understand I turned down McDonalds for you.
Randomize
