My moms helping me unpack but im getting a little nervous because I dont remember where i put my dildo
I woke up in a house cuddled up with a beagle on a futon. have no idea who anyone is but they all call me stretch. yeaaahhh boiiiiii
Ummmm yeah ..,.. All three girlfriends I have right now are chatting with each other at the party...... I'll see you on the other side
When She took off her bra.... A tube of lipgloss, her phone, I.D. And a wad of twenties fell out.... I'm officially no longer a butt man
the only thing keeping me going right now is the knowledge that in 2 hours i'll be drunk at the circus.
We found her in the fireplace eating dog biscuits.
A little light bondage fun never hurt anybody (erotic asphyxiation excluded). Car batteries attached to reproductive organs have.
80% sure the drag queens carried her home
I asked him to explain what he meant by "hooking up" in paragraph form
I'm gone to the point of literally hugging trees, partially for support, but also because I like them.
Nothing too major over here lately. Just had a date with an ex-internet porn star turned lawyer. He said: "at my 3rd burning man I taught a workshop on BDSM" and I knew it was going to be a fun night.
Tony's mom to him at breakfast: "I found the shirt you wore last night in the bushes this morning."
She wanted me to stick my dick in the birthday cake she got me
I think it's your fault my nipples aren't sensitive anymore.
I AM OFFICIALLY LICENSED TO BE A LESBIAN
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