We had like 4 guys come over and buy us all drinks as an excuse to hit on Kendra. Hanging out with her is now officially fiscally responsible.
watching E! true Hollywood story: curse of the lottery.. i'd probably spend all my money on blow and airplanes too..
he took off his pants and apologized in advance if I thought he was too small.
My dad just walked in on me screwing the chick from the bar...the look of relief on his face was sort of hurtful.
Day two of taking my adderall. I just organized the pantry and alphabetized my dvds. I've missed my mind on drugs
He came over while I was in the ER and hung pictures of himself around my house.
She literally crushed my balls between her butt cheeks. It was both the greatest and worst thing ever. Dancers are awesome.
I'm fucked up. I can't drink anymore. We stole a cat.
I'm drinking sangria out of a sand pail. I'll pass on tonight
you know, this Evan Williams whiskey isn't so bad when it's watered down a bit and you're home by yourself on a Saturday listening to Snoop Dog alone in your apartment without pants or any plans for your future...
Felt so good this afternoon, figured I wouldn't have a comedown. Wrong. Just realized I've been staring at a wall for 40 minutes contemplating the color yellow.
I will rip it off your body in ways are socially offensive but you still kind of like.
my talents include tricking people into giving me money and free drugs
He said he wanted to lick the breadcrumbs off my chest
I'm bleeding and have questions
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