I wish everyone walked around campus with a video of what they did this weekend above their heads.
bitch so ugly she owes me an erection
I thought she was mad at me, but then we did a pose off and I realized we're friends for life
she was most def 27.5% uglier than a troll, but the sex was great
do people really wait til 5 oclock to start drinking in real life?
Did i throw a brick at someone last night?
i knew you were okay when you wanted to eat in the ambulance
Two words. Shotgunning Cognac.
This has already gotten way out of hand
He doesn't have any game.. I mean, his one move is forwarding chicks pictures of his penis.
I told you, I don't give a SHIT about their music. I JUST. WANT. TO FUCK. THE BASSIST.
yeah, I'm getting gagged by the cock of fate
He has no idea he's waking up in slut palace tomorrow morning
She wore her engagement ring the whole time we fucked. I hate her fiancee, so it was cool
I peed outside 4 times after the bar, safe to say I had great night
Just zoned back in to real life and found myself chanting "noodle eater noodle eater noodle eater" at my parrot as he devoured a single macaroni
Randomize
