i either just vomited on a lesbian or a small boy
He was sucking on my finger.... and it was at that moment that I thought: Man. I wish I had a penis.
I just accidently tagged myself in the picture of the 16 year olds spreading their legs in bikinis. Failure.
I think I found my soulmate. This guy in front of me is yelling about getting laid while holding two beers and texting. I think this is love.
I'm too hungover to be in a fucking cow suit right now
Well i'm not entirely sure considering he gave my vagina an early valentine's day card that said "you're purrfect."
Sounds good. Stay safe. I'm kind of drunk in a Food 4 Less right now and I'm having the time of my life.
well shes beginning to earn a reputation as "the girl who tries to bone her hook ups in the ass with a pickle"
Cute underage boy is in my house.
OH MY GOD. DON'T DO ANYTHING. WHY IS HE IN YOUR HOUSE.
him crossdressing on the weekends is awkward but not a deal breaker for me.
Well, we 69'd in the Jacuzzi. If that tells you the kind of night I had. Neither of us knew we could hold our breath that long. Deff. Most. Dangerous. Sex. Ever.
Godammit I caught my hair on fire taking a bong rip
I'm always down for nudity.
There's a little game I've come up with since the mess of a party I had; it's called "tinsel or condom wrapper? (or: what's that on the floor?)"
Someone's gotta tell him drunk sex comes before dating
Randomize
