Will you blow on my dice?
I got raped by $2 you call it's. I'm still hammered. And mentoring high school kids. My life is a joke.
get your tongue out of his mouth and answer your phone. if your not doing more than making out i'm gonna be so pissed. i'm about to sleep in your car bitch
I just found a pubic hair on my dick that wasn't mine.
Leave it to him to get us kicked out of a bar for hitting on an 80 year old woman. I want to be that wasted one day.
Min and u sung xhionubjs. Cause that's what u kiij like a xhionunk
Sometimes you get drunk and fall out of a car. I never said it was glamorous.
The cop used the word "belligerent" 16 times in the report. You get to bail him this time. I'm not up for it.
And everyone was looking at me because it was cold and I was drunk and may have screamed "oh fuck" ... You know what, fuck that. What do people think they're getting at Denny's 2 in the morning
Drunk Jeff aka Dreff thinks he's about 3x cooler than be really is and about 100x better at dancing than he really is
He told me was "pretty like the wife in some movie where the husband is a cheater." I think I'm gonna fuck him.
They had like literally all the dildos. It looked like a seance for dick. I left the apartment and haven't been back.
Hope you are okay. You were running down the street with shopping cart at one point and yelling "bitches aint shit!"
whoever decided snowing in 90 percent of campus on a night when the streets are flowing with tequila and skittles was clearly not an R.A.
We went to the midnight donut shop and you hopped the counter and told everyone to "Get the Fuck out of your Bar" but to also "Make yourselves at home".
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