For the record dan just proved he knows the first and last names of ALL the members of NSync. Jury is no longer out on his sexuality.
My jaw hurts. Such a slutty injury..
Last night I dipped into my beer fund to pay for groceries. SINCE WHEN ARE MY PRIORITIES SO WHACK???
Had a farmer come into my class to talk to us today. He apparently met his wife on fb and just thanked jesus for his land. I think I am in the wrong major...
i'm sorry i gave your brother a handjob while you were on the blanket next to us, but to be fair your back was turned.
My birthday was already very memorable but her punching me in the face put it over the top. I love being 25 and still not giving a fuck.
I had this image of some guy in a taco truck down by the IMA accosting you for a peep show.
Driving by his house every hour is not stalking, it's a reconnaissance mission... How else can I confront him
Hardcore start to spring break. Mike is wearing adult diapers because the only stop we are making is for gas.
Not only does DQ have s'mores shakes, sonic has a hot dog in a pretzel bun, and Wendy's has a burger in a pretzel bun. Important things are happening.
We exchanged snapchat usernames instead of numbers. Is that what America has come to?
YOU MAKE ANAL SEX SOUND LIKE A SPORTING EVENT
Just met my French neighbor. We watched a crow die together, so we're pretty tight.
We got cut off at the bar, but it's okay because I tactically rolled behind the bar and grabbed a bottle of whiskey. Meet me in the back booth when you're done puking in the bathroom. This is about to get real slutty.
Worst sex ever! He was a talker for sure! I was on top and out of no where he said "Oh you bad bitch?" I stopped and left.
Randomize
