i just had a dream that i could control how black Will Smith was with a remote.i need to stop sleeping with the TV on
why would she put his p in her m after it was in her a? that's gross
its gross she let him put his p in her a nevermind his p in her m after p in her v. cleaning up is necessary
i put my m on your v after my p was in your v. no big deal
well you can't waste a boner
Please come pick me up? I sleep walked to planned parenthood again.
I am drinking at a movie theater seeing a children's movie, 2nd time this week
I pulled my tongue muscle last night. your welcome.
I remember telling you it was cold out because the sun was going to explode and people were going to fight for corn. I feel I've mislead you.
Dude she flew me 1000 miles down to see her, broke up with me 7 hrs after arrival, and kicked me out with a week left til I fly home. Thank god college taught me how to shack up
Sexual tension squid is drowning in the sexual tension
Did I fall on/off the boat yesterday? Cuz my right leg looks and feels like if it got hit by shrapnel.
he had DANDRUFF in his PUBES. 0/10 would not blow again.
It was a blast. I was going to say that throwing up in the airport bathroom wasn't classy, but it's classier than quietly puking into a fast food cup while in your seat during takeoff...
I'm on someone's yacht. I don't know who. But I'm on it. There's a guy passed out in a kilt holding bagpipes. Help.
I'm classy like audry Hepburn. Chugging wine out of the bottle on the way to the club. Shed do that. I know she would.
Just saw a girl I banged wearing a pro life shirt downtown. Not sure where to start with that.
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