she asked me if the dress made her look fat, i told her no - the fat made her look fat.
Its not like he dircectly choose a cheeseburger over sex, it was more like I said seductively "I really appreciate this and I'm going to make it up to you anyway I can" and he replied "i want a bacon cheeseburger"
i guess he just knew i was going to sleep with him either way
You are not answering and I think it is because you spent 80 dollars worth of drinks on you hot cousin.
Just turned elections for the sorority into a drinking game. Right on.
There was a lot of him and a little penis
I literally have been drunk for three days entirely by myself, the world cup may kill me
remember that response paper i wrote naked, at 745am still drunk with a naked dude in my bed? yeah, totally got an a- on that. and he loved my insight.
She gets me. First thing she said this morning "I'll buy breakfast if you can tell me my name."
The bachelorette party was all fun and games until the strippers came. AKA you guys.
I apologize for chief "dances with dolphins" sucking on your friends foot
I have to deal with three things I do not like this weekend. Pooping in toilets that are not mine. Air mattresses. Not beating off in the shower.
Yes, he did use his cock to direct traffic from my 3rd story window. That's why I love him
If there was a tv show called "True Life: My 58 Year Old Dad Rolls Better J's Than Me" I'd be on it.
Dude. I've never been with a guy who just wanted to go down on me all the time including while I'm shooting zombies on call of duty. My life is complete.
For whatever reason, whenever she's drunk off Crown, all she wants to do is jerk me off with her feet.
Guy in my class today said, "I'm pretty sure you think about beer 95% of the time."
Randomize
