i may have used way too many innuedos last night. i scared him off. but really... how could i pass up "stimulus package" and "flacid economy." don't answer that.
you know you're not getting laid when you start breaking awkward silences with quotes from Robot Chicken
You had me at "you have a nicer rack then her"
Come find me please? Im in a ditch.
That doesn't help me much...
I'm right under the moon!
you both peed in the photobooth after the pictures were taken.
Everyone loves nachos, first of all. Second, Ke$ha is entirely appropriate for the age grou too young to realize she probably has Hep C.
Your fuck buddy is making you watch the OC. I think that counts as strings attached.
I don't know, I think having hemorrhoids shows character. You have to be trying pretty hard to get them.
I mean honestly, what would you have done?
Not screw her in the church house?
Told my fifteen year old cousin's friend what to sext his girlfriend last night. He was scarred for life but she fucking loved it.
You need to stop vomiting in the washing machine, bro. For real this time.
I literally JUST MADE IT to the liquor store. I bought a box of wine with the lights off
I am eating a fluff-a-nutter sandwich at the gym right now. I brought vodka too.
I told my mom that I was just gonna go check the mail. It's been 19 hours, and I woke up in a hot tub covered in chocolate, with a text from her sayin "have fun sweetie"
this kid sitting diagonally in front of me is searching "cheap bongs" on google. hahahhaaha. who does this kid think he is?
Randomize
