Her parents hate her and she's on like major lockdown. All her friends are in jail and she has massive pit stains. Dude... It doesn't get much worse than that.
i am positive it's ok to drink. it's just pieces of the plastic knife i forgot was in the blender.
I am telling you that nothing wakes you up like stomach acid exiting your nostrils at 10AM
There's a hand-carved wooden bong in my backpack, and i really wish i could remember last night now.
But i guess when you use blowjob as a verb you are entitled to some language allowances
Things I woke up with this morning: half a mcmuffin, orange hair, one shoe and a friendly german man. Tequila was a brilliant idea.
I cried and ate like 6 tacos in the taco bell parking lot at almost midnight, sober, alone, listening to a demi lavato cd. And that was the good part.
All she kept whispering was put your pickle in my mouth. Then she fell out of her barstool and chipped her tooth
I just wanna get hammered somewhere crazy. Meet some chicks. Bang them and then go scuba diving.
Dude you better come get your girl, she's sitting here eating a tub of pasta salad muttering to herself about gypsies.
Was Mr. ROBOT good? I missed it. I just fucked dental hygienist on the trampoline in my backyard
What, so now you are his nutritionist and his fuck buddy?
is it fucked up if I wear crotchless panties to thanksgiving to make it easier for me to fuck my cousins friend.
God I love you.
Sooooo have your ex-girl console you over your ex ex girl that you destroyed said ex-girl over the possibility of
The only food I have to eat is weed gummies and magic mushrooms... This is peak 34
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