yes because when i jack off the first person i think about is christina applegate
I just watched my mom open a wine bottle with an electric drill. I have never been so proud.
So i've def seen the girl running for student body VP getting fingered in a bar.
I am the poster child for what not to do during sex. Soon they will be calling an undesired position after me
I heard from anne today. She has a broken collarbone and is knocked up. Apparently florida is awesome
You need to stop blackout tweeting at him to have sex with you on the roof of your dorm. He doesn't even have a twitter.
1st rule of birth control pills: do not stop taking birth control pills. 2nd rule of birth control pills: do NOT STOP taking birth control pills.
All I know is I was dancing to Shakira in his alley and I think rubbing my junk on his car door.
I can't even masturbate without crying fuck this break up
Just woke up in my fuck buddies bed with, from the looks of her ass and side boob, a girl that is not my fuck buddy. This should be interesting
I stood in my living room with two beers in my hand asking these said beers if they were going to drink each other. I then insisted that I would drink them and chugged both. Happy Halloween.
Sometimes I just want to kiss you without you pulling ur cock out and waving it at me
Remind me to never do anything where hiding something in my butt is the best course of action
i just found a pair of your underwear stuffed behind my harry potter books...was that on purpose?
haha no, it was majik
I climbed on the arm of the futon, flapping my hand fan frantically and hissing imprecations at the smoke detector
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