Skipping work because i'm still too drunk from last night still. got home at midnight and passed out in front of my door for 2 hours bc i couldn't find my key
had to call my rooommate to let us in. Passed out in my dress and found the key on my hair tie-in my hair- just now.
He told me I took off my shirt, asked for the latino thunder and jumped on him. I want to question this but it sounds too much like me.
maybe next time you'll take an ex boyfriend warning you that she's batshit crazy as a warning instead of a challenge
found a cell phone. in the freezer. wrapped in bologna. explain?
I tried giving you a bj last night and all you could manage was "Haha that tickles" and "in the morning"
We went to the casino to try to earn enough money to go to new Orleans comfortably. I'm already drunk. This is a horribly immoral start to summer.
Let me know when ur ready so I can throw up one last time then brush my teeth
A gentleman never tells..... therefore i will neither confirm nor deny the attatched photos
Also can you rate on a scale of zero to jesus restraining order christ how creepy it is that he found a porn star that looks like me and has watched all the porn that she's been in
wow. there is a man who hates the post office more than me. he is causing a scene, this is a snapshot of elderly me.
My dad just asked if I could bring snacks to jail this weekend. Like what does he think this is, some type of adult play date?
he has to serve us drink and appetizers in his french maid costume for the Pirates game tonight. Bring everyone.
He held my hand in public and I nearly came. Like he needs to be inside of me yesterday.
My next goal in this relationship is to teach my boyfriend that there are valid reasons to be fear of dolphins completely.
He left cushions on my floor, chocolate on my bra and unexplained scratches on my thighs. I think this one might get a second date.
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