So in our children's lit class, some jackass little boy had gone thru the where's waldo book and circled waldo. I realize you would have been that kid.
It's happening again. I feel like I'm under water and my heart beat matches "Teenage Wasteland"
I have to take his virginity. It's what God put me on earth for. It's my life mission.
im tired of her bring homeless men home when shes drunk. THEY ARE NOT FUCKING PETS!!!!
Wake up. Pour coffee. Open blinds. Guy is skipping class and jacking off furiously to Asian porn. Close blinds. Finish coffee. So this must be what med school is like.
Let's get drunk and put things on the grill that have no right to be there.
Happy birthday, America.
Is it bad that I'm using the photo I took for my fake ID as my linkedin profile pic?
He came inside and met my grandmother after we had sex in the driveway. I love that he has a van.
I have banged to "The Emperor's New Groove" way more than could possibly be reasonable.
So i had a lucid dream about blowing myself. This is why people love me
I keep having dreams where I tie him up and eat cookies off of him while riding him. Wtf brain.
You just missed an honest to god bukkake
my ex finally blocked me on all social media and tbh I'm only pissed because his roomate just got a puppy
Probably some sort of karmic revenge for me looking at titties somewhere along the way
and for that you shall suffer
God: I won't strike you down, but I shall introduce your child to Doja Cat during a quarantine
I literally blew him under my face mask. Not because I thought it'd protect me from COVID, but because I wanted to prove to myself that I could.
Randomize
