I dont get it-she has sex with me but wont be my facebook friend?
She looks like Robin Williams dressed as a frog.
What started out as Cougar hunting turned into whaling
she would be the type to have more hair on her twat than on her head
she has to be all "alternative"
That bus ride was like a tour of all the bushes I puked behind last night
He spanked me with a plate. I'm not sure where this is going...
Just tell him to eat fruit before so it tastes good. Then it's just like shotgunning a smoothie
the whole "pretend to be sober/pull it together for my family" thing really blew up in my face when i threw up into my pillowcase.
You picked up her frozen vom puddle and threw it like a frisbee.
While I'm on hiatus from the Russian potato nectar, it is my wish for others to enjoy it in my stead.
Went outside and he was playing rock paper scissors with a cop over a drunk in public ticket.
The bathroom smells like ribs. What did you do?
Note to self. The tub labelled "not water" does not contain water.
i've now hooked up with two guys who have tattoos of their sister's names...so that's a reality i have to live with...
These guys are just fucking with my heart instead of fucking me. They're fucking up.
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