i'd rather walk the sahara in a snuggie with no water than take a bicycle cab
i wish starbucks made bloody marys
I just found out the FDA voted to ban Vicodin, my last connection to this world has been destroyed
it's not gay if you rub your penis between their butt cheeks and pretend they are tits
You say you're gonna take rehab seriously... but i keep imagining it as a training montage for you preparing to snort all of columbia.
That actually is really sweet of you
in the middle of getting head my cat meowed. she looked up , meowed back, and then continued giving me head.
I make one hell of a fire on Ambien. Other life choices not so much. But fire. Fire I can do.
Turning 21 will be slightly bittersweet. Never again will I be able to get underage drunk at Disney World, now I'll only be able to get legal drunk and that just sets a whole different and sad tone for my life.
I just got three pairs of underwear free and a bathing suit for $20 by modeling them and letting the salesman grope me a bit.
It's great being a young gay man in Chicago!
Trying to put a fitted sheet on drunk is one of the boss levels of slutty adulthood.
Your drunk naked friend is roaming the living room. Started roaming my room. Please come retrieve him
I feel as though my head has drastically changed shape
Dude. I keep thinking about how I let a man gum my vagina.
When I walked out of the bathroom and you were literally dancing, you looked at me and said 'this is how I dance'. And then continued.
I know her cup size but not her name....
Randomize
