I haven't gotten laid in forever. I'm obsessed. I imagine I this is how Ethopians feel about food.
Walk of Shame. In a state park.
still haven't packed clothes. only wine. gotta love spring break
Just watched porn on a 60 inch plasma screen TV... So that's where the clitoris is
there is way too much butter on my body for this to be okay
I wouldn't necessarily say I'm in her pants...I'd say I'm more on the on ramp to the freeway to the long way to her pants. There really isn't a short cut.
I didn't know what to do with her so I just tied her to a bench.
So I passed out with my boxers on in the hotel jacuzzi at 5am.. The manager who kicked me out was pretty cute so I left my name and number for her at the front desk. I'm giving it a 50/50 she calls.
I was wearing my get used bookstore shirt when we fucked. Ironic yet appropriate.
She introduced me as that girl Nathan was fingering
I think I'm going to contact pbr and see if they'll sponsor our dreams
I just watched our fat male neighbor dibble a soccer ball across the lawn. It looked like Baywatch with diabetes
I peed my pants and am still dancing with guys at the club because I liked my outfit too much to change. Call the ratchet emergency
I don't need tinder boy anymore but I do need free sushi
I'm gonna have to start putting baby wipes and a change of pants in my bag. The amount of times I'm scared of shitting my pants in public is too high and I need the reassurance
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