I have no idea how to attract men with my personality anymore. He can't see my tits via facebook chat
I woke up from my nap, looked out my window, and saw about bout 6 people get tasered in less than 20 seconds.....could someone please tell me what's going on.
Despite what happened tonight, Im still expecting Jesus birthday sex
Never again. I promise. My old gay body can't handle that much adrenaline twice.
I know. I need to get a vagina tranquilizer.
I already banned bobbing for apples. While drunk that's just drowning near fruit.
Found trail of ibuprofen on ground. I'm like the intervention version of e.t.
This strip club is mediocre. Talent is fine. Fung shui is bad.
Crust to egg proportion prescribes to a pedantic form of quiche. It's like saying breakfast pizza isn't pizza at all.
I'm getting 800 nuggets from McDonald's
Last time I "ran into him" I ended up with the clap and had to explain why the ladder was missing from the garage.
my extended weekend of being as irresponsible as possible started with blowing the bartender in the bar bathroom. off to a good start.
And thank god for autocorrect cuz I can't even think in English let alone spell in it right now.
Guess how much it costs to flush your pants down the toilet?
I may have passed out and puked all over the host's favorite couch, but three hours and a rip later, I was eating tiramisu in the bathtub with the birthday boy and a hot Italian.
Randomize
