I just took boredom to a whole new level. I just auto-tuned and remixed today's western civ lecture
So there's 10 guys in this picture..I've made out with 5 of them. does this make me a slut?
eh 50% isn't bad..i'd say 80% is slut material.
I walked up to a girl in a bar, and all I was capable of doing was taking my beer and bumping it up to hers. While doing so, all I could say was "Bud Light". She walked away.
I got you a housewarming gift. It starts with "A" and ends with "bottle of Jameson"
It's tuesday, which means cocktails followed by cocktales.
Alright, my brain isn't sure how to properly function on a Wednesday with no hangover and more than 3 hours of sleep.
No, i will not have sex with him again. It felt like he was trying to bulldoze his way through me. My vagina is on strike.
Dont worry bro, i'll be the designated kayaker. I wouldnt want u to be drinking and kayaking.
Is there a special protocol when the stripper has a Boba Fett tattoo?
dude, no lie, I would make out with you in front of them wearing nothing but a rainbow colored speedo
I had an epiphany. If a dude dressed up as Batman to ask me out, I'd prolly marry him.
Plus, I have my cousin, the dominatrix, to help me out if things get out of hand
Moral of the story: next time my plans include you and bourbon, I'm packing a toothbrush.
He just flipped the beer pong table and set the ceiling fan on fire things are about to get crazy
Answered a bio test question bc of watching phineas and ferb. Remind me to always drink when studying.
Randomize
