Hey I don't know if you will get this but all I know is you are so beautiful to .ee and? I dare anyone to stop me me from caring for you ante so beautiful so I kid you not gorgeous iyoiu are so beautiful to me i dare som.eone too stioo you
Ryan Howard.... the only guy who struck out more than me this weekend
just skyped with my friend to listen in on the people talking shit about me in the library. creepy or strategic?
i got iced as i was inside of her. i fucking hate my friends
I got stoned in my snow covered car and pretended I was burried alive
Man, I wish they all looked like that. Your vagina deserves to have a nice frame around it, and God's signature at the bottom.
Don't smoke out front when you get home there's gasoline involved I'll tell you later
There's a patch of dead grass from where you would notoriously throw up after every good night in July. This summer was great.
After we had sex he made me watch a Top Gun highlight video...
This is where you say "Why yes we will drink with reckless abandon and hopefully not be in a church parking lot again."
Finding that toy duck there was weird right?
I know he’s a bad decision but he's casual, his penis is amazing and his technique is on point.
I just want to order a very large pizza and get very drunk and very laid.
at this point I think you're judging my taste in men
I swear I'm not
It's okay, I'm judging my taste in men
I wish the guy in the stall next to me would stop moaning while taking a dump.
I wish you'd stop texting me from the toilet.
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score one for mom.
Randomize
