I fucked a guy named chris tucker last night
I thnk I just saw a monkey walking a drunk guy.
those bitches were sniggering at my man-pris like they were goddesses of fashion!
...dude i pray you are quoting something, someone, anyone...
remember that night we drank a bottle of vodka and went to mcdonalds and ordered everything on the dollar menu, twice?
we can't do that now- first b/c they got rid of that menu and 2 b/c we are broke now. damn this recession.
whatcha mean you cant get rid of genital warts? thats not what my girlfriend says
bad idea #53- masterbating while on period.
The worst thing about having a parent with a prius is that they can walk in on you without any warning
True as that may be, are you coming to the birth of my imaginary child or not?
Ya I guess if we compared our actions now with our actions 2 years ago. We are definitely in a constant state of shit showness.
Oh please not the Easy Cheese again. That was weird.
I THINK it was the lead singer. Whoever he was, I have his number and his dick was pierced.
It was totally the lead singer.
I think my FWB just broke up with me and i don't know how I feel about that
i woke up to drewlling on a plate of eggrolls half naked halfway between my bed and the floor, and i have no idea where my pants went
We live walking distance from the coors factory. no, we do not have a dry week.
I need to get laid. Right now that freshman frat pledge & my Econ professor are the leading candidates
That’s quite a spread
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