I can hear the grilled cheese talking to me. "Let me in there!" they wanna get inside me
me and my sister are feeding my dog poprocks. this is proof you don't need a lot of money to have fun.
Dude she's on meds. He has a ginormous penis. Ur A dumbass. That concludes our feelings chat. Dim Sumday?
Just did the walk of shame in front of his dad while I was wearing his gym shorts and my heels from graduation last night. Keep it classy '12
Can you stop being a bitch and just take some Kaluha shots with me bro?!?
I just saw my 7th grade teacher at the club. We had a pretty good talk over drinks. Turns out we both like dancing on tables.
Update: That guy is no longer in the restroom, so he's probably not dead.
But seriously. What possible excuse could I come up with to ditch my parents on Christmas to go fuck him?
Did you know that pizza hut has a wedding proposal box? And sorry for being kinda drunk yesterday when you got here
Bouncer came into the bathrooms to tell us the old one-person-per-stall rule, realised it was two girls banging, and left us to it. Lesbiperks.
Currently googling hangover cures, which looks a lot like working from the perspective of my boss.
It's okay that we broke up and all but it's not okay that he still has my Chick-fil-A calendar card. This month is free fries!
There's a dude wearing a banana suit at the house across the street....
I'm gonna write a book entitled "when you give a cop a cookie..."
I don't even want to know.
I just discovered that jello shots are the best hangover cure
You said that last night when you did jello shots at 4am
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