we were playing true or dare on a webcam chat and i was way to drunk ...i ended up having to drink my own piss outta a beer bottle, life couldnt get any worse right now
duuuude. vodka popsicles DO NOT function.
I thought he was joking about the hundred beer challenge until two guys showed up with a camera and boom mic. This cabin party is going to be fucked
Penises. Penises everywhereeeeeeeee. Penis ratio is sooo disproportionate. I can't NOT get laid tonight.
no, that was the night I slathered your dick in the icing from my birthday cake
some guy just burried his vomit in the sand.
i don't care if its just a preseason game, my pick up a guy and suck him off in the bathroom skills are in midseason form
The cleaning lady even cleaned my bong. I'm scared to open my sex toy drawer and see if and how she organized it
I walked into a room this morning and someone asked how my back was because I apparently threw myself off the porch after attempting to set myself on fire. Who the fuck let drunk me play with fire?!
Better question: who the fuck planted a tree next to the porch?!
day drinking caused me to be in bed at a decent time. can't complain.
woke up to my little sister's best-friend's boyfriend in my bed, but how's your saturday going?
It's official cum is not a great leave in conditioner
He stole one of my good bras again. If I'm not getting laid I'm not putting with this shit. Also it's a walk of shame for you today, my car is suicidal again.
He made me pay for half of dinner. Fucking feminist revolution.
When I told the bartender it was my 21st birthday, he looked at me all pissed and said "But you've been drinking here as 21 for the past 2 years.." How do you THINK the night went?
So I take it free shots were a no after that?
Randomize
