When I unzipped my pants I said "Release the Cracken"... she dug it so we're getting married soon.
There appears to be a lake on my nightstand. As usual, I should not be considered a suspect. Together, we will find out who did this.
i'm only riding in the trunk because they put the case of beer back here..
What I'm trying to say is, that time you chained me to my dresser and made me beg for it was incredibly romantic.
I already googled the effects of Molly with my antibiotics, I should be fine.
Why is there even a knowledge base for that?!
Almost threw up on my grandmother as she walked in the house. Had to run to the bathroom and vomit my brains out. Prolly getting taken out of the Will now.
when you come home i just want to let you know we are cats now. and we are out of eggs.
He called me skinny, I broke his garbage disposal, then denied him sex. Normal second date etiquette.
I have bruises from doing the splits on the poles, if that doesn't scream bourbon street regret then I don't know what does
Stay away a while longer.
Still not sure if they're cops or strippers.
For the record you're an amazing lay and you have great taste in breakfast sandwiches
I dunno. The drunker I get, the easier econ gets. I may be onto something here.
Few clarical questions about last night: 1. How did we get home? 2. Am I wearing your underwear? 3. Where is Andrea? 4. Guy with nose ring last night hot?
1. You tried hitch hiking "like a pro" and flashed cars while sticking out your thumb until I called Michael. 2. I don't know but probably. 3. Who is Andrea? 4. Hot.
That's good. So do you know why there is a giant pile of old tires in the laundry room and kitchen?
Well we knew you needed some tires, found someone on the way home who was giving them away and took them all. Has to be 4 in there you can use.
I deleted your number after I found out you gave my brother head for drugs.
Randomize
