i met a boy and i'm in lovvvvveeeeeeee and we're going to vegas and getting marrrrrriiiieeeeedddddd!
let's be honest with each other here, that's about the worst idea you've ever had. you need to walk this one off.
I'm thinking of having one or both of my boobs out. They're small but they're mighty.
don't wear any deodorant. we have to do everything we can to sabotage this wedding
The guy in front of me in Sociology is definitely working on my farm in farmville. Never met him before. Do I thank him?
I crashed her parents' car cause she was giving me road head. Its probably best to just let them think I'm a bad driver.
Whatevss it will be funn .. Hopefully no one projectile vomits on the wall again.. Its kinda become a tradition though
I am never taking advice from you again. The high heels in the shower were a bad idea. I orgasmed and almost drowned.
I don't think it counts as a walk of shame when it's someone you've wanted for 4 years. That's mission accomplished.
You'd be surprised at the stuff my vagina tells my brain to say
As soon as I got there, you appeared out of no where, yelled "they're giving away free cigarettes!" in my face and then disappeared and I didn't see you the rest of the night.
yeah I had to wear a fucking diaper from work home so I didn't get the shitty squirts all over my cars seats it was fucked
drunk and crying about Shakespeare- how's your night?
I really need to stop sending pussy pics if I'm going to be running for state representative in November
i have paint on my face i'm missing my earrings, there's a bag of rice in my room, and i have a purse full of monopoly pieces
Plus he probably didn't want to be at home, alone... Jacking off on the big screen without you there to lend a helping hand. I mean, let's be honest. It's not fun if it's not a little weird.
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