just did a line in a complete hula outfit off a chick in a devil costume. do you think hell will be this good?
I look like a sausage in jean shorts, you should have woken up earlier and approved my outfit.
just watched her puke in her purse and put it back on the bar. then half hour later put her hand in her bag to get a pen to give me her number. I bet she is game for anything
He keeps asking where i got my clothes and accessories. i'm not sure if he wants to fuck me, or go shopping.
Miss Michigan hasn't even been Miss USA for 24hrs and already stripper pole pics are surfacing. Classy.
That drug basically just makes anything that's in your mouth awesome
at least he left the skimmer on the side of the pool so i could fish out my thong in the morning
it was a whole new experience in the world of ball fondling
The van in front of me contains people having SEX. I am in full view of a SEX VAN.
I tried to pay my tab and go home but she wrote me a "list of things I'm good at" with fellatio as no 1...
I think I may have just taught my whole hall how to give a good blow job. So this is college.
he's had a change of heart. and besides, we could use a laugh.
oh, well, if you all need a good laugh, by all means endanger my life.
I sent a picture of my balls to one of my best friends, so basically it was an average night.
Snorted a dorito chip for 1$. Cross that off the bucket list.
I literally blew him under my face mask. Not because I thought it'd protect me from COVID, but because I wanted to prove to myself that I could.
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