You know your creepy when you look at recently tagged facebook photos of girls you want to hook up with and they include prom pictures
Whenever he makes me dinner its always mini things.. cheeseburgers, corndogs.. is he preparing me for something?
I got her a Nickelback box set.
OMG HAIR ON HIS DICK. HAIR ON HIS DICK AS IN GROWING OUT OF HIS DICK. HAIR.
i am pretty sure she ate my hamster last night. i am thinking this because she left me a note that says she ate my hamster and my hamster is no longer in its hamster cage.
She wanted to to do it on top of a horse, I can't compete with that
It's annoying. I only date people who are 6 foot 3, drug dealers, or 2 years older than me.
I don't think it's food poisoning, I think it's cause you cooked it over burning styrofoam
Best ethics paper a stoner could write. I called my professor Dr. Superfly Arandia. And I'm pretty sure I used "respect the hustle" somewhere in there too.
At this point all my Tinder matches are telling me I'll be fucking the whole male population of UMass '17.
Unless he's under 18, in which case you put him back where you found him this instant.
He told me to keep watching the Grammys and then went down on me.. I think I'm in love.
There's nothing classy about a pregnant girl at a frat party...remember that.
I am a bad person
You slept with him. Was it good?
I wasnt going to but I was too lazy to blow up the air mattress
Look. All I'm saying is that if the USWNT can win a shit ton of medals and have two gay love stories with happy endings, there's still hope in this world
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